Sometimes I forget to breathe
I forget that I too have needs
I lose myself in your battles
But I’ll take your burdens and place them on top of mine
Just so you don’t suffer.
I tried to be your light, the light you see at the end of the tunnel
But you couldn’t see, you didn’t want to see me
I know that I used to burn so bright.
Now I struggle.
I was always a sheltered child who grew up in a bubble wrapped home.
The big bad world wasn’t supposed to be my oyster.
I wasn’t supposed to venture out to try and find my pearl.
I was a curious child, unconventional in every way.
I wasn’t what my parents raised.
I asked too many questions, I wanted to do things my way.
I craved adventure, I wanted to make mistakes.
I felt suffocated, I hated the bubble wrap that was supposed to keep me safe.
I was always in limbo fighting with my right and wrong,
your right and wrong, your way versus mine.
It was an ongoing battle and we were losing track.
I tried not to hurt you so I hurt me instead.
I tried to give you what you wanted but nothing ever changed.
The bubble wrap was just wound around tighter.
I’m tired of playing the devil’s advocate. I’m tired of fighting for each breath.
I’m tired of being angry, sad and always feeling defeated.
My life is mine.
Not yours, mine.
What I do for me because I see fit is not a crime.
I need you to understand that I love you.
I will always love you.
But we need to let go.
We need to set each other free.
Because I just need to let me, be happy.