The Summer I Turned Pretty Trilogy – Review

Okay, so I am back with another review!! I really wanted to make a youtube video about this trilogy just so my facial expressions could fully convey my feeling the way words may not be able to.

After reading To All The Boy’s I’ve Loved Before I just felt it in my soul that I needed to get my hands on The Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy. It was a need more than a want. I searched high and low, I scoured the internet for months trying to get my hands all three book with the same cover and honestly it was a very difficult task. And just when I had given up hope I randomly walked into my local The Works and there they were in all their glory, all three books packed together and guess how much they cost me… only 5 quid like totally worth the wait! Okay so now that this story is over let’s get into the books. I’m going to try my best to not give away any spoilers.

“Belly measures her life in summers. Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August. Winters are simply a time to count the weeks until the next summer, a place away from the beach house, away from Susannah, and most importantly, away from Jeremiah and Conrad. They are the boys that Belly has known since her very first summer—they have been her brother figures, her crushes, and everything in between. But one summer, one wonderful and terrible summer, the more everything changes, the more it all ends up just the way it should have been all along.”

Book #1 focuses on Belly (Isabel) going back to Cousin’s Beach for the summer with her mother and brother. They stay there every summer with their mum’s best friend and her boys. From the title, it, of course, implies that Belly is now older and prettier and is getting somewhat more attention from the boys so as any normal teenage girl would want she’s hoping that she can capture the heart of her long time crush.

The story mainly consists of flashbacks relaying the backstory and the dynamics between the characters. Belly, her brother – Steven, Conrad – her crush and of course Jeremiah – Conrad’s Brother (who I am just going to add is so obviously in love with Belly) Yes there is a love triangle wait no there is a love square but it does not evolve the way one would expect it to. The whole book is really a cat and mouse sort of situation – the series is. I wish I could just elaborate more without giving everything away but I can’t.

One of my favourite things about this book is that I love Susannah so much. She is the one character in this book that I would be infatuated with in real life. She sounds like a wholesome being who is an amazing friend and a great mother and a wonderful second mum to Belly. I think the one thing that really just captured my heart was that Belly loves Susannah like she is her own mother sometimes not realising that her mother is just as amazing and Susannah always lets her know it.

It used to be that Belly counted the days until summer, until she was back at Cousins Beach with Conrad and Jeremiah. But not this year. Not after Susannah got sick again and Conrad stopped caring. Everything that was right and good has fallen apart, leaving Belly wishing summer would never come. But when Jeremiah calls saying Conrad has disappeared, Belly knows what she must do to make things right again. And it can only happen back at the beach house, the three of them together, the way things used to be. If this summer really and truly is the last summer, it should end the way it started—at Cousins Beach.

Book #2 I don’t really know how I felt about this one. It took me a lot longer to get into and I really wanted to strangle all the character especially Belly. Who after everything is still acting like a selfish little child but so are so many people around her. She’s not a good friend and I don’t think she was in any way a good girlfriend. Honestly, a lot happens but at the same time not much does. Belly is supposed to spend summer with her best friend Taylor but Belly being Belly she wants to be at the beach house and she is making it really obvious that this is not the summer she wanted. So when Jeremiah calls her to ask for her help looking for Conrad she could not be happier.

Conrad’s disappearance adds some many layers to this story. I feel like he was just filling his big brother role and trying his best. As the eldest child, I can tell you we get tunnel vision when it comes to doing what we think is best for our family and protecting others so regardless of what anyone else says I am team, Conrad. We also get to see Jeremiah’s point of view in this book and it gives you more of an understanding of who he is and why he is the way that he is and what his family is like from his perspective rather than just seeing the Fisher family from Belly’s point of view. The love triangle intensity has gone up but at least it’s not a square anymore. There is a lot of nostalgia and an over looming sense of sadness and acceptance in this book and I think it makes a great segway into the third.

“Belly has only ever been in love with two boys, both with the last name Fisher. And after being with Jeremiah for the last two years, she’s almost positive he is her soul mate. Almost. While Conrad has not gotten over the mistake of letting Belly go, Jeremiah has always known that Belly is the girl for him. So when Belly and Jeremiah decide to make things forever, Conrad realises that it’s now or never—tell Belly he loves her, or lose her for good.”

Okay, I have so many yet so little words for this book. Gurrrll!!! I was shook. I’m not even exaggerating I was about seven pages in and confused about life. Fine, the blurb gives it away that Jeremiah is with Belly and there is a time jump but just reading it I was like noooo whyyy is this happening?!?! The more and more I read the more and more I was like I can not stand Jeremiah his character did a complete 180 and the entire time I was thinking who is this idiot. Honestly, it’s fine that his character did because you are always evolving through life and the things that happen to you, around you shape you but he just turned out to be not likeable at all.

I tried so hard to love Belly throughout the series but in the end, I just couldn’t. In this book, you start to see some personal growth and a young woman coming into her own. She even starts to own some of her shortcomings which is amazing but then she just goes back to being her immature self. It comes across as though she thinks the whole world revolves around her. Which is a very unlikeable trait in anyone. I like Conrad to an extent but if a guy did to me what Conrad has done to Belly over the series I would have slapped some sense into him by now. ( I do not condone violence please do not take that away from this. kthanks!) I feel like the only person who has changed is Taylor. She has matured and is so much more likeable and trust me when I say that because I hated Taylor in the first two books.

Overall out of all the books I think #3 has the most amount of drama and craziness but as they say if you’re going to go out, go out with a bang and that is what Jenny Han has done with this book! A little disappointed that the ending didn’t give us readers a bit more of what we would’ve liked i.e a Conrad and Belly scene but I am satisfied with the ending.

I would give this series a 3/5 don’t get me wrong these books are a perfect quick read, out in the summer sun. They make you feel nostalgic for a beach house summer with your best friends. I’ve always wanted a house by the water and reading about Belly’s summers has really ignited my love for that dream again. Part of me thinks that if I read these books when they first came out when I was much younger maybe I would have fallen in love with these books because my perspective on life would’ve been a lot different but unfortunately that is not the case.

If someone leaves you, just say goodbye.

The other day I over heard a conversation most likely a little too deep for a bus journey home but nonetheless it got me thinking. This girl was talking to possibly someone who is really close to her and surprisingly having a heart to heart on a not so empty bus. She was pouring her heart out, so to speak. “ I guess my biggest fear is losing someone I love, not the inevitable but losing someone because they fall out of love with you. They go on living their life on this earth without you, I don’t think I could cope with that. Knowing that we were once so in love and now we don’t even care in that way for each other. That would tear me apart. Maybe that’s why I’m just not ready to let anyone in.”

I wholly understand where she is coming from but I think for me it has always been the opposite. Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced the whole loving someone who doesn’t love me back anymore thing. Losing someone and that person moving on so quickly and you just being so lost because they were your whole world and now they are your nothing well you are their nothing.

It will feel like your drowning and there no chance of you coming up for air. It’s going to feel like that for some time. And boy are you going to cry, every single day for the next few months. Those tears, they will come out of nowhere because everything you knew and got so accustom to is gone. It will take time but you will feel better, will get stronger and the best thing that comes out of heart break is that you are given the opportunity to rediscover who you are. You will shine and know your worth and things will get better. Slowly but surely, they will get better.

That’s why I understand but to me losing someone your are in love with to death is something I can’t comprehend. Not because I don’t see it happen all the time but because I just can’t grasp the idea of being so in love with someone and that person loving me just as much and then one day they are gone. They are six feet under the ground and I don’t have to ability to say all those things I wanted to, to tell them how much I love them and just all those other little things we tend to take for granted. I won’t be able to live my truth because you were my soulmate and we bought out the best in each other. I’m sacred of losing someone because If i’m in love with you and we’ve together long enough we would be a part of each other, we would be dependent on each other so much so that I would feel like a child lost all alone on a busy street not knowing where to go. I would lose a part of me, when I lose a part of you.

Death is so definitive, there is no choice in it. When it’s your time to go, you are gone from this earth, there are no take backs or chances to make a difference and the thing is most times you don’t even see it coming, it just takes you by surprise. I think that is what would break me the most.

So if someone breaks your heart and they leave you to move on with their own life. Let them walk away. If they turn down your love, know that you are worth so much more and that life still has so much to offer you. Don’t stress or worry about a person who isn’t even yours because you never know you could be blocking your own blessings being so caught up in this heartache. I believe everything you expereince in this life happens for a reason even if it just ends up being Gods way of teaching you a lesson. You come out of it a better person, so much stronger, so much happier and so much more confident and secure in who you are and what you want in life. So if someone leaves you, just say goodbye.

Six month update

So it’s been a little over 6 months since I relaunched my blog. Things haven’t really gone the way I would’ve liked them too but I have always believed that life is a journey and we learn something new every step of the way.

I started off in June thinking that I was going to blog more and be more creative and this website and youtube channel were going to be my outlet. I even forced my parents to give me the extra room in the garage so I could set it up and make it into a cute little office/filming room for myself. I’m still working on that 4 months in but it will eventually happen I just don’t know when.

I’ve been looking back at the goals I set myself on my birthday and surprisingly I can a few off the list already which is amazing for someone like me as it usually takes me a billion odd years to get shit done well shit that is for myself done. I thought I’d post a little update because even though I’ve been a bit MIA online my life has been very busy to the point I haven’t had a single weekend to myself for the last few months.

1. Quit my Job – I quit my job at the end of June and well me being me I went back in September. I’ve been back for 2 and half months and the experience is completely different. I’m still surrounded by people that I love and consider to be my friends but this job is not end goals just a stepping stone until I figure out where I am heading next.

2. Join the Gym – I joined the gym!! well, I got a personal trainer who I see twice a week and boyyy does she know how to torture us. I’ve been seeing her for about a month now and I’m not going to lie even though I hate exercising I somehow enjoy each session of pain. I don’t think I’ve seen any physical changes but let’s put that down to my bad eating habits in times of stress!

3. Join a Scriptwriting Class – I attended an evening class for 6 whole weeks!!! I never really thought I would actually do it. I loved the experience, especially because, in the beginning, I felt like a fish out of water. I regretted paying for the classes because I knew I had to attend them now but after the initial OMG WTF HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO moment I started to really enjoy the class and I ended up writing my very first episode. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the script or where I am going to go with it but I did it and I feel so proud of myself just for being able to allow myself to write!

5. Go to Therapy – I went to my very first therapy session last week. I feel as though I have broken this barrier that I had built for myself and that was preventing me from going but now I’ve taken the first step and I really do look forward to these sessions helping me help myself.

10. Put Myself Out There Again – I think this was the one thing I was not looking forward to the most but I am more open to new things and new people and just experiencing life differently. I’ve made new friends and even opened up my heart just a little. You don’t realise what you are missing out until you get a glimpse of it and you yourself are experiencing new things and emotions.

It’s been 6 whole months since my birthday and my very first post on this blog. In those 6 months, life hasn’t gone the way I wanted to it but I’ve achieved 5 things off my list of goals for the next 5 years and I think that’s pretty amazing!

Better off alone

I always say I am better off alone. It’s not because I want to be alone.
It’s just, may be one day I’ll let someone in just enough and they’ll steal my heart. I’ll fall helplessly in love and realise all I ever wanted in this life was to feel loved, to be in love. I’ll crave it, I’ll need it, I’ll want to feel it more than life itself and then one day it will all come crashing, burning down. I don’t know if my heart can take that especially seeing as I am known as the broken girl. So I rather wear some bubble wrap around my fragile self then to open up and let you love me. I’m not scared of being alone I’m scared of needing you, scared of falling so deeply and not being able to live without your love.

Forever

These scars are forever, moments carved into my skin
Memories that I will never treasure.
Daily reminders of my screw-ups,
My downfalls, my pain.
My lack of self-control.
They haunt, they taunt me.
They make me feel ashamed.
I wish they’d disappear.
But they now are a part me
A part of me I can’t let go
A part of me here to stay forever.
A part of me I will always regret.

YOU

Your essence, your being, it captured my soul.
I was curiously lusting for something out of my control.
One step, two step and you were so close.
As our bodies moved closer I felt that electric jolt.
Magnetised.
Your lips touch mine as our bodies intertwine.
Let’s stay in this moment forever
Please never say goodbye

One Month Keto Update.

I’ve been on the Ketogenic diet for about a month now and I thought I’d post about it here on my blog and you all a little update and insight to my experiences. Before I begin I feel it is only fair for me to give you a little disclaimer. I am in no way suggesting you go out and do this diet nor am I claiming to be any sort of professional with extensive knowledge. I am just a person trying to lose weight and using a method that works for me.

So here’s the sciencey bit. The Ketogenic diet is a High Fat, Moderate Protein, Low Carb diet. Eating this way allows your body to produce small fuel molecules that are called Ketones. These Ketones are produced in the liver using fat. So eating Keto changes the way your body burns fat, instead of running on Glousce the body switches to being fueled by fat allowing you to burn more substantial amounts.

Now that’s out of the way lets talk about how this month went. Firstly let me just put this out there. I am one of the fussiest eaters on earth, okay that’s a lie but I’m picky and when you start a diet all you think about are the things you can not eat. My first thought was fudge I can’t eat pasta or pizza or ice cream my favourite foods on this earth. Then I started to panic and question where on earth am I going to eat all these healthy fats from, how is one supposed to do this?

Let me just break it down. On a daily, I try to consume 1200 calories. I know a lot of people on keto don’t really count their calorie intake but I like to, however, that being said if I go over by 100 calories or I stay below it’s okay too as long as I am not hungry we are good. I count my macros, that mean macronutrients so I like to know how many carbs, how much fibre, how much and protein in is food I eat. I use my fitness pal but you can use whatever apps or sites you prefer to track your macros. I have personally found that if I set myself a goal of eating 65% of fats, 25% protein and 10% carbs daily, it is not as daunting and it’s something I am able to do. Here is a little example of what my typical day looks like!

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So you can see I always no matter what eat more fats than anything else because I do not want to eat too much protein as that can, in turn, can be turned into glucose and we do not want that!

I always struggle with ideas on what to eat because you have to cook for yourself there is no easy way out. Eating halal makes this diet slightly harder just because you can’t really go out and buy sausages, bacon or burger patties. You have to make everything at home so it does get time-consuming.

In the start, I always used to have Bullet Proof Coffee so that coffee with butter and some coconut oil. Not my favourite thing to have but I wanted quick breakfast and I can not hack eggs first thing in the morning so bpc it is. Recently I discovered Chia seed and OH MY GOD I am obsessed like where have you been my whole life. I have a cereal type breakfast every morning and I could not be happier.

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That’s the thing with this diet the longer you do it the more creative you get with your food and you find substitutes for sugary high carb foods. I even made a pizza today that was keto approved. I’m going to just insert a few meals I’ve had over the last month so you can see what I eat. But I can always do a full day of eating post or vlog if anyone wants to see what I have on the regular.

This month was a good month overall I think. I’m not going to lie and say it was perfect because what’s the point? I had three days where I was just like fudge it I want to order from pizza hut so I am and I did and I enjoyed it very much. It’s tough it really is but you just have to remember that you have an end goal and that you are doing it for you and nobody else. Sometimes trying to lose weight can be draining and so mentally exhausting. How did I get here, why did I get here? I gain weight so fast and it’s annoying so it’s nice for a diet to actually work for once.

I lost 8.4lbs this month which I think it pretty great and a step in the right direction. I can’t wait to continue this journey with all it’s up and downs and well I can not wait to hit my goal. Before I sign off if anyone wants to follow my journey on Instagram because I do tend to post more often on there about this feel free to its @kiranonketo I’d love to follow more people on that account!

A girl who would have been a mistake

I was always too afraid to fall in love.
To let you into my innermost thoughts.
So I built a wall around my heart.
Too high to climb and too strong to tear down.
I was scared that once you’d see the real me.
The, me; the rest of the world doesn’t get to see.
You’d run, run far away and not ever look back.
So I kept you at arms distance until you gave up.
The wall kept me safe, it kept you away.
It saved you from heartbreak.
From a girl who would’ve been a mistake.

Scars

my scars remind me of you.
the ones I carved into my skin.
I hate that you are still apart me.
because I allowed you to consume me.
sometimes I want to cover them up.
other times I think these are my battle wounds.
it’s a constant struggle because these are daily reminders.
of memories, bad memories engraved into my skin.