2am thoughts

Nights like these are reckless. Nights like these are not for the faint-hearted. They are tainted in the blood of your demons. The silence is eerie and the darkness is consuming. Your heart rate is racing, faster, faster, faster. You’re no longer tossing and turning trying to find comfort in your bed. The place where you lay to find peace, to find solace, your safe haven. Anywhere, you’d rather be anywhere but there.

You jolt out of bed scrambling in the darkness to find your phone. The very thing you that you spend each waking moment with, clutching to it as though it is your lifeline. The very thing you lock away after 11 pm so that you actually close your eyes instead of mindlessly scrolling torturing your fickle soul into the wee hours of the night.

Finally, you look down at the screen to see it’s 2 am. Only 2 am on a Sunday night. You walk towards your wardrobe and pull out the first pair of joggers you can find, grab a jacket and put on some shoes. You most likely look like you dressed yourself in the dark but that is exactly what you’ve done.

Slowly you tiptoe down your stairs carefully making sure the old wood doesn’t creak loud enough to wake the others. The softer your step funnily enough the louder the creak. You see the door and you’re out. Out in the fresh air, out in the open. The dimly lit street so quiet, so serene almost suddenly you feel at peace and you know exactly where you need to be.

Running, you’re running as fast as your legs can carry. The cold air grazing your skin. The cooling sensation making you feel more alive than you have in a very long time. You stop for a moment to catch your breath, you close your eyes – inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale… A few more steps that’s all it will take and you’re finally there.

Your home away from home, shining under the moonlight.

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